desirestruth | tdm; yo ho ho

tdm; yo ho ho

[a. the black forest

Hey, would you like to be in a bioluminescent forest with a bunch of thorns and the uncanny feeling something is watching you? No? Forest isn't happy with you either, as it turns out.

Which is why someone in a cloak and luminescent jackal eyes just appeared out of that bush.]

Stop.

[b. not in kansas anymore

Or, we take the option that you were simply minding your own goddamn business in your world. Quiet. Peaceful. No problems. And suddenly there is a jackal falling from the sky. Catch!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mushrooms aren't plants. Mushrooms are the extant face of the Divine.

[...Is. Is this a bit, Naeva? Naeva you can't say shit like that in a total deadpan.]

Well, figuring any of that out is easier with a roof over your head. It'll rain soon. Can't you smell it?

[he's met sentient mushroom people. there's probably mushrooms gods. that tracks.]

Was bit more distracted with the forest what hates me and the stranger lady in a fox mask.

...It is a jackal.

[EXCUSE YOU GET YOUR TINY YIPPY CANIDS RIGHT. HOW VERY DARE.]

The forest hates most intruders, don't take it personally.

Oh, a jackal! Right, obviously. My mistake.

[what's a jackal]

...It is obvious.

[HUFF. But here, there's a little cottage just over yonder, let's get you in it.]

[is this how his drow party members feel when he talks about sheepdogs

follows her in without fuss]

Pardon our intrusion.

Hmm? I built this.

[? These manners confuse her. But she is taking off the mask inside and

holy shit that lady is hot and pale as death???]

Make yourself comfortable. It'll be a long night.

[hot pale lady wearing an animal mask in a creepy forest?ma'am he's getting the impression that calling him out on his half-aliveness might have been a case of pot calling the kettle black.

and/or that's some Ranger nonsense]

And a lovely place it is.

[looks for a chair to sit down]

[There's some grandma-ass rocking chair get comfy my dude.]

You don't have to flatter me, you're not in danger if you don't.

Ma'am, I can reach my kitchen sink from my bed back in my apartment in Erelhei-Cinlu. Believe me, I have nothing but the most honest praise for this fine cottage.

...Apartment?

[What is this city-folk nonsense.]

Imagine a bedroom. Now imagine it half that size. Now imagine you got thirty other neighbors in their own tiny bedrooms and you're all sharin' the same bathroom at the end of the hall.