tdm; yo ho ho

[desirestruth]

[a. the black forest

Hey, would you like to be in a bioluminescent forest with a bunch of thorns and the uncanny feeling something is watching you? No? Forest isn't happy with you either, as it turns out.

Which is why someone in a cloak and luminescent jackal eyes just appeared out of that bush.]

Stop.

[b. not in kansas anymore

Or, we take the option that you were simply minding your own goddamn business in your world. Quiet. Peaceful. No problems. And suddenly there is a jackal falling from the sky. Catch!]

Comments

A

[noghost]

[ sorry for the high beam flashlight going reflexively right to your face. also she's holding a camcorder in the other hand. ]

—fuck! What the—

[desirestruth]

[BRO HER FUCKING EYEBALLS--She hisses a lot less humanlike than you'd like, and her hand shoots out to grab at the flashlight.]

Put that down.

[OH GOD IT HURTS.]

[noghost]

Look, fine, fine, I didn't expect anyone to be out here, let alone popping out of the bushes!

...hm.

[desirestruth]

You are in a forest, where else would I "pop out" from?

[She lifts the jackal mask she's wearing to rub at her eyes a bit. Owwwwww.]

How did you get in here?

A

[downdraft]

[stops]

Okay?

[desirestruth]

...How did you get in here? It is dangerous to be wandering.

[She's. Not used to people not freaking out. Hello?]

[downdraft]

[he's got a hand behind his back which like, yeah that's definitely someone keeping a hand on a weapon just in case, but that's normal for getting jumping in the woods]

Wouldya believe I came up out of a hole in the ground?

[desirestruth]

...No.

[Squinting at him and leaning a little forward to...sniff? At the air? What is she dealing with here, sir.]

[downdraft]

Can call it a portal if the idea sells better dressed up fancy.

[he does smell like he's been in a cave. he smells like shadows, too. like if he stepped back into the dark under the trees, he would disappear.

he smells like a strong, cold clean wind. he smells like mist, like— or, no. the mist is literal. his hair is a cloud.

he is not breathing.]

[desirestruth]

[Pause. Sniff. Snort.]

Some kind of wizard, then. It's definitely not safe for you in here. Schwarzwald doesn't like it.

[...There's an uncomfortable sense, if he can sense the ambient magic, that she's not wrong. These trees don't like his magic.

She is...remarkably calm about him not breathing?]

[downdraft]

Sorcerer, actually. Wizards study, I'm just steeped in it. Shame for a glowy dark forest not to like it though. I'm right in my habitat.

[desirestruth]

Being somewhat dead probably isn't helping.

[She sighs, and rummages around in her cloak to hold up a...lantern?]

Come on then. No point dilly-dallying around in the brush.

[downdraft]

I'll have you know that I am only legally dead and only in a select few counties.

[moves his hand from behind his back, taking a lazy casual posture. he'll follow!]

[desirestruth]

You certainly don't smell like the living.

[She shrugs, but she's starting down the path. Initially, she's walking pretty briskly, and none of the undergrowth bothers her any. But she'll slow down to match him if all the brambles and tree roots are a problem.]

[downdraft]

But don't smell like the dead either, now do I?

[he is, despite his peculiar nature, still a living being instead of an undead.]

Mind I ask where we're going?

[desirestruth]

...A shelter? It's not like you can walk out of here in one night.

[Shrugging at his question. He doesn't, but...]

The forest isn't as good at differentiating between grey areas. Plants see it a little differently than mammals do.

[downdraft]

Oh, yeah, like them mushrooms.

Even if I walk out, y'know, don't know where I'd be walkin' to. I wasn't kidding about that hole in the ground.

[desirestruth]

Mushrooms aren't plants. Mushrooms are the extant face of the Divine.

[...Is. Is this a bit, Naeva? Naeva you can't say shit like that in a total deadpan.]

Well, figuring any of that out is easier with a roof over your head. It'll rain soon. Can't you smell it?

[downdraft]

[he's met sentient mushroom people. there's probably mushrooms gods. that tracks.]

Was bit more distracted with the forest what hates me and the stranger lady in a fox mask.

[noghost]

By walking? Obviously. Network says there's maybe content somewhere, I go.

[desirestruth]

...Into the cursed and magical forest?

[Child she has concerns.]

[desirestruth]

...It is a jackal.

[EXCUSE YOU GET YOUR TINY YIPPY CANIDS RIGHT. HOW VERY DARE.]

The forest hates most intruders, don't take it personally.

[downdraft]

Oh, a jackal! Right, obviously. My mistake.

[what's a jackal]

[noghost]

Well, that's show business. Pays too little and you work too hard and half of your coworkers have some kind of addiction and something genuinely weird and insane happens once and gets you stuck with scut work for the rest of your career, you know how it is.

[desirestruth]

...It is obvious.

[HUFF. But here, there's a little cottage just over yonder, let's get you in it.]

[desirestruth]

No, I don't believe I do.

[Tiny madam, what.]

[downdraft]

[is this how his drow party members feel when he talks about sheepdogs

follows her in without fuss]

Pardon our intrusion.

[desirestruth]

Hmm? I built this.

[? These manners confuse her. But she is taking off the mask inside and

holy shit that lady is hot and pale as death???]

Make yourself comfortable. It'll be a long night.

[aphrodissonance]

[ she has accosted a fluffy, roughly dragon-looking creature about the size of a larger dog— which makes a squeaky hissy noise and jumps like a cat presented with a surprise cucumber. whoops ]

[desirestruth]

[OH NO ADORABLE BABY? ADORABLE BABY....NO...COME HERE....

She crouches down and pulls a glove off so baby can sniff her hand!]

Ohhh, I didn't mean to startle you, it's alright...

[aphrodissonance]

[ ducking her head on automatic for that sniff before catching herself and— curtseying, instead? or a gesture very like it, with spread wings instead of spread skirts. ]

I— no, I beg your pardon— certainly you must have had your reasons, and I would not be surprised at all if I were trespassing at this point—

[ it's a young woman's voice, still a little wobbly with nerves if the babbling weren't enough of a giveaway of her mental state ]

[desirestruth]

It's...the Black Forest is wary of strangers. It's not safe to wander. I only intend to take you to a sanctuary, as it's...late in the day to be trying to travel.

[Right. Dragon's a new one on her but the rest of this she can cope with. It's fine! This is fine!]

[downdraft]

[hot pale lady wearing an animal mask in a creepy forest?ma'am he's getting the impression that calling him out on his half-aliveness might have been a case of pot calling the kettle black.

and/or that's some Ranger nonsense]

And a lovely place it is.

[looks for a chair to sit down]

[desirestruth]

[There's some grandma-ass rocking chair get comfy my dude.]

You don't have to flatter me, you're not in danger if you don't.

[downdraft]

Ma'am, I can reach my kitchen sink from my bed back in my apartment in Erelhei-Cinlu. Believe me, I have nothing but the most honest praise for this fine cottage.

[desirestruth]

...Apartment?

[What is this city-folk nonsense.]

[downdraft]

Imagine a bedroom. Now imagine it half that size. Now imagine you got thirty other neighbors in their own tiny bedrooms and you're all sharin' the same bathroom at the end of the hall.

[desirestruth]

Why.

[downdraft]

Efficiency.

[desirestruth]

Efficiency in what, depression and a vitamin D deficiency?

[downdraft]

Wouldn't get much use outta' more space even if I had it. Wouldn't get much more vitamin D neither. Erelhei-Cinlu's a cave city.

[desirestruth]

...I never ceased to be amazed at where humanity decides to build settlements.

[WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS.]

[downdraft]

's a drow city, not a human one. They're nocturnal, can't stand the sunlight.

[desirestruth]

And what, pray tell, is a drow.

[downdraft]

Y'know what elves are?

[desirestruth]

[Suspicious squint.

So, no.]

[downdraft]

Well suffice to say, they ain't human. A hundred-year-old human's lucky if he ain't dead. A hundred-year-old drow's not even an adult.